My body has been letting me down lately. I have more aches and pains. I run more slowly while exerting more effort. Much of the time my running buddy is dragging me along. Things I used to take for granted like a good night’s sleep or maintaining an even body temperature have become more precious. I struggle with relationship issues, despite my good intentions. People often don’t do what I want them to do, and it irritates me!

I was listening on lifetoday.org to Beth Moore teach on the topic of “Our True Selves.” She used the story of Jacob and Esau to illustrate how we need to get honest with ourselves, our God  and each other.

We see from the very beginning in Genesis 25 that Jacob was a born manipulator. His name means “heel grasper.” He tricked his brother out of the birthright and his father out of the blessing for the first born. His trickery forced him to run away because Esau wanted to kill him. In going to Laban, he met his match. Laban gave Jacob a run for his money in manipulation–a taste of his own medicine.

In Genesis 32 when Jacob goes to meet Esau, he is still trying to work the situation, sending gifts and servants on ahead of him. It is not until Jacob wrestles with the angel of the Lord that he changes. The angel gets him to let go by dislocating his hip.

I think God uses all kinds of struggles (large and small) to get us to lay down our own will and submit to His. I am reminded of this passage from 2 Corinthians 1: ⁸ For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers,^[b] of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. ⁹ Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

When we stop trying to work people and situations and seek God, we find peace. I don’t think Jacob ever completely recovered from his limp. It was a daily reminder of God’s hand upon his life and of his own frailty. Could God be using ongoing struggles to keep us seeking His face? Do we have daily reminders of our own frailty? “God’s power is made perfect in our weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9).

I want to go to God with my weakness and be honest with others. I do not have it all together, but God has my back. I thank Him for the struggles and ask Him to use them for His glory. If I am still limping, I am reminded to seek His strength.