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The last time I didn’t send a photo Christmas card was 2000, when I painted one (back when I stayed home all day and did stuff like this to keep from going bonkers).

Most every year since the girls were tiny, I’ve sent out Christmas cards with their shiny, happy faces on them, often including all five of us. This year, I did not.

I had every intention of doing it and had planned to get a quick family photo of us at Thanksgiving, like I did last year. I got busy and distracted and forgot, but we could still get one several days before Christmas. Anna, my youngest, has developed some great photography skills, so Shawn and I thought she could set up the photo. The challenge was Rachel would not be home until the day before we would leave to go to Kansas for Christmas. I could upload the photo for one-hour developing at Walmart and I could address cards on the seven-hour road trip. That’s kind of a holiday tradition for me anyway.

Rachel was later than expected, so we thought we could take the photo before we got in the car and send it to a Walmart in Norman, Okla., and I could still get them addressed and stamped.

Then the last-minute photo session fell apart. I won’t name names. Let’s just say some people don’t always work well together or cite creative differences and leave it at that. It was a very unpleasant 20 minutes that ended with no photos. Then we had to get in our Durango, three adult-size kids, two parents and a nervous medium-large mutt and ride seven hours together.

Some people had to get over some stuff fast or make everyone miserable. And when I say SOME people, I’m looking in the mirror. I still had the thought in the back of my mind of putting together a collage or getting a Yuletide photo in the snow once we got to Kansas and making it New Year’s Greetings.

Sometimes you’ve got to know when to let go.

My family knows I’m a bit of a Christmas junkie. I decorate like crazy and play Christmas music whenever I can. But it’s okay to let go of some of the trappings and focus on the people around you. It’s even better if you can see the bigger picture of what Christmas means.

While the cards, decorations and carols are wonderful, what I like even better are the special times with family and friends. We got to spend Christmas with Shawn’s family on their farm in Kansas and New Years with my mom and step dad. Rachel came home for a nice, long visit, and we had friends from church come to our house to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

I treasured the few hours I got to spend having breakfast in Yoder, Kansas, with my friend, Anne, whom I have known since junior high when the Bee Gees topped the charts and “Happy Days” was the most popular show on TV. Anne teaches at a mission school on a Navajo reservation in Arizona, so I only get to see her a few times a year, at most. Enjoying the presence of one of my best friends was better than any present she could have given me.

I wouldn’t have traded Rachel coming home for any kind of material gift, nor would I want to give up time with other family members or friends. Festive cards from loved ones, strings of lights, the smell of spiced cider and ancient carols delight the senses, but treasured time with an encouraging friend, a warm hug from my mom, and the sound of my daughters, nieces, and nephews laughing together bring more joy.

The older I get, the more I realize that presence is greater than presents.Emmanuel is “God with us.” Jesus came to earth to be with us and so we could be with God.

People sometimes let you down. That Christmas card scene you imagined in your head may not come to fruition. Instead, you might be fussing and fuming. But stop for a moment to thank God for what you DO have. And when you do, remember that God is with you (long after the holidays are over)  no matter what. That’s the greatest gift of all.

If I were doing a Christmas card collage, here are some photos from 2015 that I might have included (see how I sneaked that in there?).

Posing with Rachel when she was a bridesmaid at Melissa Canter Ha’s wedding.

Anna and Shawn at the Northwood Church Car Show with Anna’s 1968 Chevy El Camino (nicknamed Buckley).

Rebekah and Carlos at Northwood Church’s camp for 75 orphans in Atlixco, Mexico.