I belong to a huge club with many members, but every one of us would rather be someplace else. We didn’t choose this club. It chose us.
I come from a family deeply scarred by mental illness. My father fought bipolar disorder for decades. He battled what he thought was depression for much of my childhood until a manic break from reality (the first of many) while I was in college divulged the true nature of his disease. His father spent many years in mental hospitals.
Dad and me in our backyard in Wichita.
Dad and his dad, Floyd Leon Crider Jr. and Floyd Leon Crider Sr., on the dairy farm near Krum, Texas
I’m not excited about writing this post, but I know it needs to be done. Good bloggers connect with their tribe. They take what they’ve experienced and attempt to turn it into lessons to encourage others. The problem with mental illness is that there is still a lot of stigma and ignorance out there. And people don’t enjoy talking about it because it sucks. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t use foul language and “sucks” crosses a line for me (my apologies to my southern mama who raised me to despise cuss words). But there’s something deep within my gut that mourns the havoc mental illness created in my family.
Without thinking long or hard at all, I can recall loved ones with depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, personality disorder, bulimia, addictions… You get the idea. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), one out of five Americans experience a mental illness. Of those ages 13 to 18, 20 percent have a mental health condition.
In our upper middle class suburb of 43,000 souls here in DFW, two teenagers have taken their own lives in the last month. Of those who die from suicide, 90 percent have an underlying mental illness. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States.
People, we need to seek out the mentally ill among us and show them love. We need to support their families. When someone breaks an arm or is diagnosed with cancer, everyone rallies around them. We don’t understand diseases of the mind. They don’t make sense because they are by their essence irrational. We need to rally anyway. We can listen and hug.
Part of showing love is putting ourselves out there as members of this club, both those who have loved a mentally ill person and those who have suffered themselves.
May is mental health month, and I feel the need to make sure others know about my membership in this not-at-all exclusive club. The way to reduce the stigma and ignorance is to be open about our struggles and to encourage those who are open with us.
Want to know more?
Here are a few resources:
- More information on NAMI and mental health issues: nami.org
- TED Talks on mental health
- Kay and Rick Warren, who lost their son to suicide, now champion mental health issues in the church: hope4mentalhealth.com
So who is with me? Are you in my club?
You are definitely not alone. Thanks so much for writing this particular blog. I can not share as honestly as you do; because it is not mine to share. But the damage done to innocent people by those suffering from mental illness and the damage the sufferers do to themselves is enormous.
Thank you for bravely sharing your story. May this article bring hope and help to many!!!
Very helpful and brave post, Sandra. My family has some of those issues, too. I’m very grateful the treatment options are so much more than they were 50 years ago when my grandfather suffered from debilitating anxiety. I feel the stigma is a lot less than it was even 20 years ago. The suffering is still very real, sadly.