Monthly Archives: January 2016

What to do while you’re waiting on the answer

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“The vision is yet for the appointed time. It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay.” – Habakkuk 2:3

When you’re driving through heavy snow or on icy roads, you have to slow down and look intently. You can’t relax. You’ve got to watch for the next turn or an unexpected obstacle. Sometimes you have to stop altogether and wait it out.20131207.164307

I have this BIG prayer request, and the answer I want isn’t coming at the moment. The struggle is mighty. The stakes are high. There’s no end in sight.

But I’m not alone in this storm. God is with me. He wants to speak to me, even if the solution is nowhere near the horizon.

At Northwood Church this morning, Pastor Robert Stephens talked about what to do WHEN (not IF) storms come. Know Jesus and that He is the living Savior. When you don’t know what to pray, just say “Jesus.” Be obedient.

The Tuesday morning Northwood Ladies Bible Study gives me insight on what to do. We’re studying “Discerning the Voice of God: How to Recognize When God Speaks” by Priscilla Shirer. It’s been a wonderful reminder that God lives in us through the Holy Spirit. We have God’s power to do God’s will.

20131207.164703When you’re going through a storm, you’re on high alert. I’m seeking God’s face in my personal Bible study and prayer time. I’m desperate for guidance. Here’s some of what I’ve been hearing:

  • God may not be answering my prayer in the way I want, but He’s still giving me guidance.
  • I may not get the whole answer, but look for the next step.
  • Take it, even if it is uncomfortable.
  • I am called to act in love, but the response of others is not my responsibility.
  • Becoming like Christ is a process. Choose to obey the Holy Spirit in the small things.

I didn’t choose this storm, but I can choose how I face it: angry and fearful or expecting God to be with me and work in me.

I may not like this verse, but it’s proved true in the past and will be true again in the future:

“…we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)

While I’m waiting on the big answer, I’m not giving up. I’m searching for the good in the moments. I’m looking for beauty around me. I’m thanking God for His many blessings. I’m seeking out ways to bless others.

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” 9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.” – Galatians 6:9 (NLT)

Letting go of Unrealistic Expectations (a.k.a The Great Christmas Card Fiasco of 2015)

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The last time I didn't send a photo Christmas card was 2000, when I painted one (back when a stayed home all day and did stuff like this to keep from going bonkers).

The last time I didn’t send a photo Christmas card was 2000, when I painted one (back when I stayed home all day and did stuff like this to keep from going bonkers).

Most every year since the girls were tiny, I’ve sent out Christmas cards with their shiny, happy faces on them, often including all five of us. This year, I did not.

I had every intention of doing it and had planned to get a quick family photo of us at Thanksgiving, like I did last year. I got busy and distracted and forgot, but we could still get one several days before Christmas. Anna, my youngest, has developed some great photography skills, so Shawn and I thought she could set up the photo. The challenge was Rachel would not be home until the day before we would leave to go to Kansas for Christmas. I could upload the photo for one-hour developing at Walmart and I could address cards on the seven-hour road trip. That’s kind of a holiday tradition for me anyway.

Rachel was later than expected, so we thought we could take the photo before we got in the car and send it to a Walmart in Norman, Okla., and I could still get them addressed and stamped.

Then the last-minute photo session fell apart. I won’t name names. Let’s just say some people don’t always work well together or cite creative differences and leave it at that. It was a very unpleasant 20 minutes that ended with no photos. Then we had to get in our Durango, three adult-size kids, two parents and a nervous medium-large mutt and ride seven hours together.

Some people had to get over some stuff fast or make everyone miserable. And when I say SOME people, I’m looking in the mirror. I still had the thought in the back of my mind of putting together a collage or getting a Yuletide photo in the snow once we got to Kansas and making it New Year’s Greetings.

Sometimes you’ve got to know when to let go.

My family knows I’m a bit of a Christmas junkie. I decorate like crazy and play Christmas music whenever I can. But it’s okay to let go of some of the trappings and focus on the people around you. It’s even better if you can see the bigger picture of what Christmas means.

While the cards, decorations and carols are wonderful, what I like even better are the special times with family and friends. We got to spend Christmas with Shawn’s family on their farm in Kansas and New Years with my mom and step dad. Rachel came home for a nice, long visit, and we had friends from church come to our house to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

I treasured the few hours I got to spend having breakfast in Yoder, Kansas, with my friend, Anne, whom I have known since junior high when the Bee Gees topped the charts and “Happy Days” was the most popular show on TV. Anne teaches at a mission school on a Navajo reservation in Arizona, so I only get to see her a few times a year, at most. Enjoying the presence of one of my best friends was better than any present she could have given me.

I wouldn’t have traded Rachel coming home for any kind of material gift, nor would I want to give up time with other family members or friends. Festive cards from loved ones, strings of lights, the smell of spiced cider and ancient carols delight the senses, but treasured time with an encouraging friend, a warm hug from my mom, and the sound of my daughters, nieces, and nephews laughing together bring more joy.

The older I get, the more I realize that presence is greater than presents.Emmanuel is “God with us.” Jesus came to earth to be with us and so we could be with God.

People sometimes let you down. That Christmas card scene you imagined in your head may not come to fruition. Instead, you might be fussing and fuming. But stop for a moment to thank God for what you DO have. And when you do, remember that God is with you (long after the holidays are over)  no matter what. That’s the greatest gift of all.

If I were doing a Christmas card collage, here are some photos from 2015 that I might have included (see how I sneaked that in there?).

Posing with Rachel when she was a bridesmaid at Melissa Canter Ha's wedding.

Posing with Rachel when she was a bridesmaid at Melissa Canter Ha’s wedding.

Anna and Shawn at the Northwood Church Car Show with Anna's 1968 Chevy El Camino (nicknamed Buckley).

Anna and Shawn at the Northwood Church Car Show with Anna’s 1968 Chevy El Camino (nicknamed Buckley).

Rebekah and Carlos at Northwood Church's camp for 75 orphans in Atlixco, Mexico.

Rebekah and Carlos at Northwood Church’s camp for 75 orphans in Atlixco, Mexico.

Why I won’t be playing Powerball

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Okay, so I was planning to write a post about Freedom from Unrealistic Expectations (a.k.a. “The Great Christmas Card Fiasco of 2015”) but the craze surrounding the stratospheric payout of the Powerball lottery prompted me to tackle it instead. Look for the scoop on Christmas cards next time.

As of today, the lottery is estimated at a mind-blowing $1.3 Billion (yes, Billion with a capital B), that’s about twice the amount of the next largest amount ever won. An article on cnn.com said that in a one-hour period in Texas yesterday $5.8 million in tickets were sold. When I checked, my odds of winning were 1 in 292 million.Powerball Jackpot

I think most of us can identify with the fun of dreaming what we would do if we suddenly had vast riches dumped in our laps. I could drop $400 on a purse without thinking about it. Going to Hawaii like Shawn and I did last month wouldn’t be a rarity. We could have multiple vacation homes and travel wherever we wanted to go. We could give lots to charity and bless others.

But I worry about what the lottery would do to my motivation. Would work become less important than pleasure seeking? Would I expect money to fix a lot of my problems and be disillusioned when it didn’t? Would all that wealth wreck my family in the long run? What would happen to my attitude and gratitude?

Now that I’ve turned the Big 5-0, I think more about my legacy. Winning the lottery would really screw up my legacy. I’ve been very blessed by those in past generations of my family, not by life-altering inheritances but by their examples of hard work and careful management of their resources. Shawn and I have received inheritances and gifts but not to the extent that we could abandon working for a living. Those blessings have enhanced our family life and allowed us to make investments for the future.

That’s what I want to give my children and hypothetical grand children. Not so much money that it makes them lazy and entitled but careful gifts here and there that remind them of the benefits of hard work, planning and living within one’s means.

Shawn reminded me of his favorite Warren Buffett quote: A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing.

I am beyond blessed to not have to fret about finances, and I know I am not exactly normal in that. If I were living paycheck to paycheck, I might be more tempted to spend a few bucks on lottery tickets and dream of not having money troubles. But the thing is, when you have money, you’ve got to spend time managing it. We’ve been learning that as our assets grow, we have to pay more attention to a lot of details. And guess which detail-oriented person at our house gets to do most of that? Not the happy-go-lucky creative one (thanks, honey!).

If we won a billion, our focus would be on managing that money and using it. I don’t think I would be as motivated to write, and I wouldn’t be as inclined to share life lessons with my girls on getting the best deals at Kroger (use the card, look for savings, accumulate those wonderful fuel points). Would giving lose a lot of its meaning if it wasn’t any kind of sacrifice?

Maybe it is God’s plan for you to win a billion and use it to help others, but as for me, it just doesn’t fit. I think it would mess up my motivation and wreck my legacy, so I’ll just be thankful for what I have and keep planning for the future.

What’s Inspiring this Fresh Start

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Aloha and Happy New Year!
For the first Monday in 2016, I’m trying to make good on one of my goals for the year: to blog once a week, or so. I hope that you will find my posts encouraging and entertaining.

My first trip to Hawaii blew my hair and my mind!

My first trip to Hawaii blew my hair and my mind!

A couple of circumstances are inspiring me to make positive changes.

This year, my youngest daughter will graduate from high school. I want to both dance a joyous jig that would totally embarrass her and moan a dramatic dirge to the end of the line for raising school age kids (which she could either find appalling or hilarious).

With this impending milestone of her departure for college, I want to make the most of my time. I’m a mom in transition. I also turned 50 in 2015, a number I have problems associating with myself. No thank you, I don’t want that AARP card!

I used my restlessness over the last few days to try to be more intentional in my approach to 2016. Last week, I did several things:

They all have similar themes of making thoughtful, intentional plans about making the most of life in your current season. My goals are different than my friends Jill and Kala who are moms of young children or my good buddy Anne who is single and teaches at a mission school on a Navajo reservation.

I came up with a short list of goals. One of them is to post regularly on the blog and another is to plan fun times with my family.

For the blog, I’m not going to wait for an inspiring idea. I’m going to make myself post something. I hope I don’t disappoint my seven avid readers… (I love you, Mom!). I’ve decided that if I post five more times by Feb. 15, I will reward myself with something I want but don’t really need.

On the family fun list, we’ve been wanting Anna to decide where we will go for Spring Break (must be in the continental U.S.). I’ll help her get started because planning trips is one of my passions. Shawn and I went on an amazing Hawaii vacation last month, which I planned through VRBO, TripAdvisor and other online resources.

What about you? Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? Do you have any advice for how to stick to your plan?

Yes, it is as lovely as it looks.

Yes, it is as lovely as it looks.