I recently interviewed a local woman who helps the homeless. She began her ministry because her ex-husband suffered from severe mental illness and chose to live on the streets. She and her son began collecting blankets to distribute in the winter to the Fort Worth homeless (You can read about her here).

She told me, “You find your passion through your pain.”

There’s really no getting around it. Adversity is the training ground for growing our faith and finding our purpose. Nothing will soften the stiffness of pride like humiliation. Heart-breaking circumstances fuel not just our passion, but our compassion. The pain of loss allows us to more fully treasure those we love.

When my third child came into the world, I thought I was a pretty good mom. I had two bright little girls who did what I asked them (most of the time). They put away their toys, patiently sat in the cart or walked next to me in Kroger and enjoyed bath time, playing with bubbles and relaxing when I would wash their hair.

Then No. 3 came along and rocked our world. A few of her cousins actually thought “No” was part of her name.

If you asked her to clean up her toys, she might dump out a bin of Legos, crawl onto the dining room table and attempt to hang from the chandelier. When we went to the store, she would try to stand up in the cart and scream to get candy or a toy (even though I NEVER gave in to the tantrum, EVER). I became THAT MOM, with the screeching toddler you could hear from the other side of Target. Bath time was a battle. She hated to have her hair washed and refused to keep her head tipped back and still, inevitably getting shampoo in her eyes. She even had to go to the ER once and get skin glue for a gash above her eye from a bathtub slip.

Here’s my curly-haired tot at almost 17 months. She’ll mess with Texas if she wants to.

Once when her big sister read a sign aloud that said, “Don’t mess with Texas,” she said, “I’ll mess with Texas if I want to.” She was 3.

Needless to say, my concept of my prowess as a parent took quite the hit. But really, it was just her personality. Sometimes you get a strong-willed child instead of one who loves to please you. Hubby and I had to correct her way more often than her two sisters (added together and multiplied). As she got older, we learned more what worked and what didn’t. She, too, gained some self-control (thank the good Lord).

Now, she is a smart, responsible, compassionate young woman of 17. She has high ideals and sticks to them with steely eyed determination. Her perseverance is a force to behold. When it comes to what she wants, this girl DOES NOT QUIT.

God knew just what He was doing when He created her. It was just very challenging and humbling to parent her.

All that points to the fact that I would not have nearly the empathy for other parents who struggle if I’d never had her. She’s also had some health challenges. Again, another opportunity to grow in how I love others and the way I can identify with their pain.

Being at the end of your rope forces you to look up. You devour God’s Word to find hope. Prayer becomes a life-line that gets you through the day. That’s what trials do. They force us to depend on God.

Here’s a promise to hold in your heart during a tough time:

³ Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, ⁴ and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, ⁵ and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. – Romans 5:3-5

and a reminder:

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. ⁹ Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. – 2 Cor. 1 8b-9

We experience God’s supernatural joy when we turn to Him in times of trial. We feel our dire need and go to His word and lift up heart cry prayers. Trials prune away the excess baggage and show us what truly matters: loving God and loving others.

We don’t mature in our faith by problem-free lives (as if there were such a thing anyway). We focus on eternal treasures when we realize our need for a Savior and Redeemer.

How can we flourish in a time of struggle?

1. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Go there first for messages of hope.
2. Be like David. Tell God your troubles. He’s big. He can take it.
3. Spend time with those who love and encourage you.
4. Seek to bless others. When I help someone else, my pain has a purpose.
5. Look for reasons to be thankful. Gratitude makes us ripe for joy.

This isn’t just a message from over a decade ago. God is using difficulties in my life today to fire my passion and guide my direction.

How have you grown through a challenging season?

This is the sixth post I’ve written in 2016! Yay!!!