Category Archives: Church

Are you in my club?

Posted on by
3

I belong to a huge club with many members, but every one of us would rather be someplace else. We didn’t choose this club. It chose us.

I come from a family deeply scarred by mental illness. My father fought bipolar disorder for decades. He battled what he thought was depression for much of my childhood until a manic break from reality (the first of many) while I was in college divulged the true nature of his disease. His father spent many years in mental hospitals.

Dad and me in our backyard in Wichita.

Dad and me in our backyard in Wichita.

Dad and his dad, Floyd Leon Crider Jr. and Floyd Leon Crider Sr., on the dairy farm near Krum, Texas

Dad and his dad, Floyd Leon Crider Jr. and Floyd Leon Crider Sr., on the dairy farm near Krum, Texas

I’m not excited about writing this post, but I know it needs to be done. Good bloggers connect with their tribe. They take what they’ve experienced and attempt to turn it into lessons to encourage others. The problem with mental illness is that there is still a lot of stigma and ignorance out there. And people don’t enjoy talking about it because it sucks. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t use foul language and “sucks” crosses a line for me (my apologies to my southern mama who raised me to despise cuss words). But there’s something deep within my gut that mourns the havoc mental illness created in my family.

Without thinking long or hard at all, I can recall loved ones with depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD,  personality disorder, bulimia, addictions… You get the idea. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), one out of five Americans experience a mental illness. Of those ages 13 to 18, 20 percent have a mental health condition.

In our upper middle class suburb of 43,000 souls here in DFW, two teenagers have taken their own lives in the last month. Of those who die from suicide, 90 percent have an underlying mental illness. Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States.

People, we need to seek out the mentally ill among us and show them love. We need to support their families. When someone breaks an arm or is diagnosed with cancer, everyone rallies around them. We don’t understand diseases of the mind. They don’t make sense because they are by their essence irrational. We need to rally anyway. We can listen and hug.

Part of showing love is putting ourselves out there as members of this club, both those who have loved a mentally ill person and those who have suffered themselves.

May is mental health month, and I feel the need to make sure others know about my membership in this not-at-all exclusive club. The way to reduce the stigma and ignorance is to be open about our struggles and to encourage those who are open with us.

Want to know more?

Here are a few resources:

  • More information on NAMI and mental health issues: nami.org
  • TED Talks on mental health
  • Kay and Rick Warren, who lost their son to suicide, now champion mental health issues in the church: hope4mentalhealth.com

So who is with me? Are you in my club?

What does it mean to fear the Lord?

Posted on by
6

“Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose. They will live in prosperity and their children will inherit the land. The Lord is a friend to those who fear him. He will teach them his covenant.” – Psalm 25: 12-14

I’ve always struggled with the concept of fearing the Lord, not that I have trouble with reverence, but I couldn’t really grasp its complexity. How do you do it?
Twice in the span of two weeks, portions of this scripture showed up.

Psalm 25 on mirrorIn our Northwood Ladies Bible Study, Discovering The Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer, she asked us to choose two of six possible verses to post on a mirror or carry around with us. One of them was Psalm 25:14. When I read the two preceding verses, I decided I wanted to claim those, too. I need guidance – constantly. I often get lost, metaphorically more than IRL (in real life, for those of you not living with a teenager). And as a parent, I definitely want to leave a legacy for my kids. I copied the three verses and taped them to my bathroom mirror, where they have become part of my “Flossing Meditation” (see this podcast from Happier with Gretchen Rubin about putting the word “meditation” with a boring task to trick yourself into doing it).

A week later, Northwood Church’s Executive Pastor Mike Mowery used the same passage of scripture from Psalm 25. This is not one of those verses that show up all the time, so my “Holy Spirit radar detector” started beeping at me like crazy. I thought, “Oh wow! I need to write about this.”

Then life happened, and I haven’t posted on my blog in THREE WEEKS. I’ve got a long list of wonderful excuses, but I’ll skip over them. I’ll just acknowledge that I missed some of God’s blessings by dragging my feet. Time to move forward.

After having a gauzy picture of fearing the Lord, the concept is starting to hit me upside the head in glorious Technicolor. Earlier this year in Ladies’ Bible Study, there was a line that I can’t find at the moment about how the author’s friend described fearing the Lord as seeing God in everything. I revere the Lord when I see Him in everything.

I see God in the morning sunrise over rooftops, the wrinkled face that smiles at me over grocery bins of apples and pears, the stop-and-go traffic that makes me slow my roll.

But the concept of fearing God goes deeper than this. Because He is my first, last and best hope,  I seek Him in everything. When I long for guidance in a difficult situation, I seek Him. When problems large and small threaten to derail my puny faith (and especially after it jumps the track), I seek Him.

My understanding of the fear of the Lord wouldn’t be complete if I stopped here. If I see Him at work all around me and I seek His guidance, then the next logical step is I say “yes” to whatever He asks of me.

My faith shrivels and wilts when I refuse to follow God’s leading.

From Priscilla Shirer’s Discerning the Voice of God: “Over and over Scripture makes clear that the determining factor for experiencing God is obedience. We must learn to make obedience a habit regardless of our feelings.”

I write instead of watching that movie I’ve seen 21 times. I ask my children to do their jobs instead of giving up. I talk about the deeper things of life with a coworker rather than rushing past the pain in her eyes.

Redbud.RJE.Elektra

I’m giving myself a pep talk more than anything here. All too often I pretend I didn’t notice that prompting or I rationalize it away (remember I avoided my weekly post for two weeks). We are all poor in spirit. Those who recognize their poverty and their complete reliance on God get to inherit all that He offers us, the whole world, in fact.

“So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.” – James 2: 17

Let’s be thankful that we see God’s hand everywhere. In those stormy, bleak or arid places, let’s seek Him. Then where He leads, we say “yes” and take that leap that makes faith blossom and bear fruit.

“But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.” – Psalm 103:17-18 (ESV)

 

 

What to do while you’re waiting on the answer

Posted on by
4

“The vision is yet for the appointed time. It hastens toward the goal, and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay.” – Habakkuk 2:3

When you’re driving through heavy snow or on icy roads, you have to slow down and look intently. You can’t relax. You’ve got to watch for the next turn or an unexpected obstacle. Sometimes you have to stop altogether and wait it out.20131207.164307

I have this BIG prayer request, and the answer I want isn’t coming at the moment. The struggle is mighty. The stakes are high. There’s no end in sight.

But I’m not alone in this storm. God is with me. He wants to speak to me, even if the solution is nowhere near the horizon.

At Northwood Church this morning, Pastor Robert Stephens talked about what to do WHEN (not IF) storms come. Know Jesus and that He is the living Savior. When you don’t know what to pray, just say “Jesus.” Be obedient.

The Tuesday morning Northwood Ladies Bible Study gives me insight on what to do. We’re studying “Discerning the Voice of God: How to Recognize When God Speaks” by Priscilla Shirer. It’s been a wonderful reminder that God lives in us through the Holy Spirit. We have God’s power to do God’s will.

20131207.164703When you’re going through a storm, you’re on high alert. I’m seeking God’s face in my personal Bible study and prayer time. I’m desperate for guidance. Here’s some of what I’ve been hearing:

  • God may not be answering my prayer in the way I want, but He’s still giving me guidance.
  • I may not get the whole answer, but look for the next step.
  • Take it, even if it is uncomfortable.
  • I am called to act in love, but the response of others is not my responsibility.
  • Becoming like Christ is a process. Choose to obey the Holy Spirit in the small things.

I didn’t choose this storm, but I can choose how I face it: angry and fearful or expecting God to be with me and work in me.

I may not like this verse, but it’s proved true in the past and will be true again in the future:

“…we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” – Romans 5:3-5 (ESV)

While I’m waiting on the big answer, I’m not giving up. I’m searching for the good in the moments. I’m looking for beauty around me. I’m thanking God for His many blessings. I’m seeking out ways to bless others.

20131207.170258

” 9 So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. 10 Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.” – Galatians 6:9 (NLT)