Category Archives: Family

How you can grow into your purpose

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forsythia.Utah

Forsythia in bloom at The Rock Shop in Orderville, Utah, one of many rock shops in the town of 572 folks. We didn’t stop and smell the roses on our recent spring break. We stopped for the rocks.

Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.
– Proverbs 13:12 (NLT)

News flash: I get frustrated with myself and my lack of progress on multiple fronts. Over and over and over and over… You get the picture.

– I want to keep to my resolution to blog weekly, but I’m not meeting that goal.
– I want to do a better job getting rid of clutter and cleaning my home, but the piles of doodads and dust bunnies continue to grow.
– I want to tackle the 87 home improvement projects that should be done, but there don’t seem to be enough hours or energy to do them.

I could add many more, but it makes me tired just thinking about all those unaccomplished tasks.

I have these two voices that creep into my brain. I’ll call them Martha and Stanley.

Martha Stewart

Martha had a plethora of pin-worthy ideas long before Pinterest. I’m not Martha, and “it’s a good thing.”

The Martha voice is like Martha Stewart. She wants elaborate dinner parties, a garden bursting with flowers to array in vases and tomatoes to can in jars and a home with lovely decor and floors clean enough to not worry about the five second rule (I remember reading where Martha said the only way to clean floors is on your hands and knees. She knew her daughter had truly taken her words to heart when she found the young woman on her hands and knees cleaning the garage floor. FOR REAL. THE GARAGE FLOOR). That’s the voice of the domestic diva, the homemaking ninja, the paragon of Pinterest, roles to which I aspire in my more delusional moments.

Here's Stanley, pencil and puzzle book in hand, unashamedly avoiding the work of the day.

Here’s Stanley, pencil and puzzle book in hand, unashamedly avoiding the work of the day.

Then there’s Stanley, as in Stanley Hudson from the TV show “The Office.” Stanley wanted to sit in the corner and do his crossword puzzles and have everyone leave him alone. He wanted to get by doing as little work as humanly possible. Sometimes that’s me. I look around and see the dishes that are piled in the sink AGAIN, the blog post on my “to do” list (real or only in my head) that didn’t get written AGAIN, the cluttered room that there’s no point in decorating when it’s such a mess AGAIN and I want to find a crossword or an episode of “The Office” and bury myself in it.

Y’all, both of these voices need to be evicted from our heads. These are really two sides of the same coin: perfectionism in what I want and disappointment when I can’t meet those goals. When we get caught up in perfectionism, we lose the joy of appreciating the world in all of its imperfect glory. We are MESSED UP and God loves us anyway. That’s grace.  But this doesn’t mean that we give up on the work God’s given us to do. We keep moving forward in spite of our struggles. That’s faith. Although taking a break from work and chores is healthy, allowing discouragement to keep us from making progress is not.

I’m learning that I should not be focused on perfection or how miserably I fail. My focus should be on loving God and showing his love to others. Even though I am a daydreamer creative type lacking in organizational skills and focus, I can take steps in the right direction.

Ten minutes spent dusting in an imperfect manner is better than no dusting at all. Doing one small part of a big project (like spraying Roundup on the weeds and grass that have overtaken my garden) beats the frustration that I don’t have the time to tackle the whole thing or guilt over allowing it to languish and deteriorate. Writing and posting on my blog even when I lack the fire of inspiration is better than giving in to discouragement.

Doing imperfect things is better for my psyche than waiting for the perfect time or situation.

We don’t always get to choose how well a project turns out and we certainly don’t get to choose how others receive our efforts, but we can choose to move forward. My faith on its own shrivels up. It grows when I choose to do something that God has called me to do. We’re always going to have interruptions, usually people, who want us to do something else. We need to ask the Lord for wisdom in knowing if we ought to pause and oblige or stay the course. Sometimes God calls us to rest, too, and that’s an important part of faith.

This is a cedar waxwing in the ornamental pear tree outside my office window. I love that little berry-eating bandit!

This is a cedar waxwing in the ornamental pear tree outside my office window. I love that little berry-eating bandit!

25 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? 27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?” – Matthew 6: 25-27 (NLT)

Really what we’re doing here is learning to listen and follow, rest and rejoice. Rinse and repeat. Here’s how we keep hope alive: not by being perfect nor giving in to discouragement but by trusting and obeying.

Will you join me in tackling the messy, imperfect life around us knowing that God is in control? Don’t listen to Martha or Stanley and enjoy the unique place God has positioned you. Achieving your God-given purpose is sharing his love using your gifts, your talents and your place right now.

What does it mean to fear the Lord?

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“Who are those who fear the Lord? He will show them the path they should choose. They will live in prosperity and their children will inherit the land. The Lord is a friend to those who fear him. He will teach them his covenant.” – Psalm 25: 12-14

I’ve always struggled with the concept of fearing the Lord, not that I have trouble with reverence, but I couldn’t really grasp its complexity. How do you do it?
Twice in the span of two weeks, portions of this scripture showed up.

Psalm 25 on mirrorIn our Northwood Ladies Bible Study, Discovering The Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer, she asked us to choose two of six possible verses to post on a mirror or carry around with us. One of them was Psalm 25:14. When I read the two preceding verses, I decided I wanted to claim those, too. I need guidance – constantly. I often get lost, metaphorically more than IRL (in real life, for those of you not living with a teenager). And as a parent, I definitely want to leave a legacy for my kids. I copied the three verses and taped them to my bathroom mirror, where they have become part of my “Flossing Meditation” (see this podcast from Happier with Gretchen Rubin about putting the word “meditation” with a boring task to trick yourself into doing it).

A week later, Northwood Church’s Executive Pastor Mike Mowery used the same passage of scripture from Psalm 25. This is not one of those verses that show up all the time, so my “Holy Spirit radar detector” started beeping at me like crazy. I thought, “Oh wow! I need to write about this.”

Then life happened, and I haven’t posted on my blog in THREE WEEKS. I’ve got a long list of wonderful excuses, but I’ll skip over them. I’ll just acknowledge that I missed some of God’s blessings by dragging my feet. Time to move forward.

After having a gauzy picture of fearing the Lord, the concept is starting to hit me upside the head in glorious Technicolor. Earlier this year in Ladies’ Bible Study, there was a line that I can’t find at the moment about how the author’s friend described fearing the Lord as seeing God in everything. I revere the Lord when I see Him in everything.

I see God in the morning sunrise over rooftops, the wrinkled face that smiles at me over grocery bins of apples and pears, the stop-and-go traffic that makes me slow my roll.

But the concept of fearing God goes deeper than this. Because He is my first, last and best hope,  I seek Him in everything. When I long for guidance in a difficult situation, I seek Him. When problems large and small threaten to derail my puny faith (and especially after it jumps the track), I seek Him.

My understanding of the fear of the Lord wouldn’t be complete if I stopped here. If I see Him at work all around me and I seek His guidance, then the next logical step is I say “yes” to whatever He asks of me.

My faith shrivels and wilts when I refuse to follow God’s leading.

From Priscilla Shirer’s Discerning the Voice of God: “Over and over Scripture makes clear that the determining factor for experiencing God is obedience. We must learn to make obedience a habit regardless of our feelings.”

I write instead of watching that movie I’ve seen 21 times. I ask my children to do their jobs instead of giving up. I talk about the deeper things of life with a coworker rather than rushing past the pain in her eyes.

Redbud.RJE.Elektra

I’m giving myself a pep talk more than anything here. All too often I pretend I didn’t notice that prompting or I rationalize it away (remember I avoided my weekly post for two weeks). We are all poor in spirit. Those who recognize their poverty and their complete reliance on God get to inherit all that He offers us, the whole world, in fact.

“So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless.” – James 2: 17

Let’s be thankful that we see God’s hand everywhere. In those stormy, bleak or arid places, let’s seek Him. Then where He leads, we say “yes” and take that leap that makes faith blossom and bear fruit.

“But the steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him,
    and his righteousness to children’s children, to those who keep his covenant
    and remember to do his commandments.” – Psalm 103:17-18 (ESV)

 

 

How to find your purpose in the midst of trials

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I recently interviewed a local woman who helps the homeless. She began her ministry because her ex-husband suffered from severe mental illness and chose to live on the streets. She and her son began collecting blankets to distribute in the winter to the Fort Worth homeless (You can read about her here).

She told me, “You find your passion through your pain.”

There’s really no getting around it. Adversity is the training ground for growing our faith and finding our purpose. Nothing will soften the stiffness of pride like humiliation. Heart-breaking circumstances fuel not just our passion, but our compassion. The pain of loss allows us to more fully treasure those we love.

When my third child came into the world, I thought I was a pretty good mom. I had two bright little girls who did what I asked them (most of the time). They put away their toys, patiently sat in the cart or walked next to me in Kroger and enjoyed bath time, playing with bubbles and relaxing when I would wash their hair.

Then No. 3 came along and rocked our world. A few of her cousins actually thought “No” was part of her name.

If you asked her to clean up her toys, she might dump out a bin of Legos, crawl onto the dining room table and attempt to hang from the chandelier. When we went to the store, she would try to stand up in the cart and scream to get candy or a toy (even though I NEVER gave in to the tantrum, EVER). I became THAT MOM, with the screeching toddler you could hear from the other side of Target. Bath time was a battle. She hated to have her hair washed and refused to keep her head tipped back and still, inevitably getting shampoo in her eyes. She even had to go to the ER once and get skin glue for a gash above her eye from a bathtub slip.

Here's my curly-haired tot at almost 17 months.

Here’s my curly-haired tot at almost 17 months. She’ll mess with Texas if she wants to.

Once when her big sister read a sign aloud that said, “Don’t mess with Texas,” she said, “I’ll mess with Texas if I want to.” She was 3.

Needless to say, my concept of my prowess as a parent took quite the hit. But really, it was just her personality. Sometimes you get a strong-willed child instead of one who loves to please you. Hubby and I had to correct her way more often than her two sisters (added together and multiplied). As she got older, we learned more what worked and what didn’t. She, too, gained some self-control (thank the good Lord).

Now, she is a smart, responsible, compassionate young woman of 17. She has high ideals and sticks to them with steely eyed determination. Her perseverance is a force to behold. When it comes to what she wants, this girl DOES NOT QUIT.

God knew just what He was doing when He created her. It was just very challenging and humbling to parent her.

All that points to the fact that I would not have nearly the empathy for other parents who struggle if I’d never had her. She’s also had some health challenges. Again, another opportunity to grow in how I love others and the way I can identify with their pain.

Being at the end of your rope forces you to look up. You devour God’s Word to find hope. Prayer becomes a life-line that gets you through the day. That’s what trials do. They force us to depend on God.

Here’s a promise to hold in your heart during a tough time:

3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. – Romans 5:3-5

and a reminder:

We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. 9 Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. – 2 Cor. 1 8b-9

We experience God’s supernatural joy when we turn to Him in times of trial. We feel our dire need and go to His word and lift up heart cry prayers. Trials prune away the excess baggage and show us what truly matters: loving God and loving others.

We don’t mature in our faith by problem-free lives (as if there were such a thing anyway). We focus on eternal treasures when we realize our need for a Savior and Redeemer.

How can we flourish in a time of struggle?

  1. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Go there first for messages of hope.
  2. Be like David. Tell God your troubles. He’s big. He can take it.
  3. Spend time with those who love and encourage you.
  4. Seek to bless others. When I help someone else, my pain has a purpose.
  5. Look for reasons to be thankful. Gratitude makes us ripe for joy.

This isn’t just a message from over a decade ago. God is using difficulties in my life today to fire my passion and guide my direction.

How have you grown through a challenging season?

This is the sixth post I’ve written in 2016! Yay!!!

How to know when you have confirmation

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“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.  So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.” -James 1:2-4

So last week I talked about waiting on an answer/waiting out a storm.
I posted my blog entry last Sunday night, not knowing that I’d encounter a different kind of storm the next morning.
On the previous Friday, my boss said that her boss wanted to meet with me on Monday, but she didn’t have any details. In the newspaper business, when the editor wants to meet with you and the details are sketchy, you have every right to be concerned.
When I arrived at the appointed time, he hustled me down to Human Resources. I figured I knew what was coming. Profits in newspapers are shrinking like the waistlines on “The Biggest Loser.”
They were doing away with several full-time positions in the newsroom, and I was one of them. Fortunately, they offered me the option of resuming my part-time gig because they were happy with my work and still needed someone to cover schools.

One of the many cool stories I got to cover was on local beekeepers.

One of the many cool stories I got to cover was on local beekeepers.

Part of me was sad that the side of my job going away was the magazine feature writing. But another part of me believed this was an answer to prayer.
We’ve been studying “Discerning the Voice of God: How to Recognize When God Speaks” by Priscilla Shirer in our Tuesday morning Northwood women’s group.
Priscilla’s 5 M’s of correctly hearing God are:

  1. Look for the message of the Spirit
  2. Live in the mode of prayer
  3. Search out the model of Scripture
  4. Submit to the ministry of Eli
  5. Expect the mercy of confirmation

Priscilla asked us to write down in the back of our study guides “circumstances troubling me” at the moment. After a few really big ones I won’t mention here, I had listed “What to do with my writing.”

I’ve been feeling the call to write, but with all the time and energy I spent crafting these huge feature stories, I felt played out. On magazine deadline weeks, sitting down at the keyboard to do MORE writing was not appealing. I decided that I wouldn’t let my full-time job completely derail my other writing and made the New Year’s Resolution to post weekly on my blog. But I still wasn’t able to invest the kind of effort I’d really like to make.

I asked God to give me direction in how to proceed. Did he want me to focus more on the blog? If so, he was going to have to help me figure out what in my schedule would be replaced. Women, repeat after me: “I can’t do it all.” And if you try, you’re going to drive some folks crazy (like those closest to you, and maybe even the one in the mirror).

Not so coincidentally, I just read Lysa TerKeurst’s insightful book, “The Best Yes.” Every time we pick up a new commitment, we’ve got to put another one down.

When I was sitting there in H.R. hearing that my full-time gig was going away, I almost smiled. No, I wasn’t happy to be taking a major cut in pay. We are beyond blessed that we don’t require that extra income. We will just tighten our belts a bit. Not everyone is that fortunate. If you’ve read to this point (THANKS!), you can say a prayer for my colleagues who lost their jobs.

With the study on discerning God’s direction, I realized that the circumstances were providing confirmation (and more time) to pursue my own blogging and other writing.

After the better part of the week marveling at the Lord’s working in my life and (not gonna lie) still mourning a little that my big feature writing stint is coming to an end for now, I heard this song from our Praise Team on Sunday morning.

“All things are working for my good ’cause He’s intentional, never failing…”

Gotta love that God pursues us constantly to remind us of His never failing love.

“And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” – Romans 8:28

Letting go of Unrealistic Expectations (a.k.a The Great Christmas Card Fiasco of 2015)

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The last time I didn't send a photo Christmas card was 2000, when I painted one (back when a stayed home all day and did stuff like this to keep from going bonkers).

The last time I didn’t send a photo Christmas card was 2000, when I painted one (back when I stayed home all day and did stuff like this to keep from going bonkers).

Most every year since the girls were tiny, I’ve sent out Christmas cards with their shiny, happy faces on them, often including all five of us. This year, I did not.

I had every intention of doing it and had planned to get a quick family photo of us at Thanksgiving, like I did last year. I got busy and distracted and forgot, but we could still get one several days before Christmas. Anna, my youngest, has developed some great photography skills, so Shawn and I thought she could set up the photo. The challenge was Rachel would not be home until the day before we would leave to go to Kansas for Christmas. I could upload the photo for one-hour developing at Walmart and I could address cards on the seven-hour road trip. That’s kind of a holiday tradition for me anyway.

Rachel was later than expected, so we thought we could take the photo before we got in the car and send it to a Walmart in Norman, Okla., and I could still get them addressed and stamped.

Then the last-minute photo session fell apart. I won’t name names. Let’s just say some people don’t always work well together or cite creative differences and leave it at that. It was a very unpleasant 20 minutes that ended with no photos. Then we had to get in our Durango, three adult-size kids, two parents and a nervous medium-large mutt and ride seven hours together.

Some people had to get over some stuff fast or make everyone miserable. And when I say SOME people, I’m looking in the mirror. I still had the thought in the back of my mind of putting together a collage or getting a Yuletide photo in the snow once we got to Kansas and making it New Year’s Greetings.

Sometimes you’ve got to know when to let go.

My family knows I’m a bit of a Christmas junkie. I decorate like crazy and play Christmas music whenever I can. But it’s okay to let go of some of the trappings and focus on the people around you. It’s even better if you can see the bigger picture of what Christmas means.

While the cards, decorations and carols are wonderful, what I like even better are the special times with family and friends. We got to spend Christmas with Shawn’s family on their farm in Kansas and New Years with my mom and step dad. Rachel came home for a nice, long visit, and we had friends from church come to our house to celebrate New Year’s Eve.

I treasured the few hours I got to spend having breakfast in Yoder, Kansas, with my friend, Anne, whom I have known since junior high when the Bee Gees topped the charts and “Happy Days” was the most popular show on TV. Anne teaches at a mission school on a Navajo reservation in Arizona, so I only get to see her a few times a year, at most. Enjoying the presence of one of my best friends was better than any present she could have given me.

I wouldn’t have traded Rachel coming home for any kind of material gift, nor would I want to give up time with other family members or friends. Festive cards from loved ones, strings of lights, the smell of spiced cider and ancient carols delight the senses, but treasured time with an encouraging friend, a warm hug from my mom, and the sound of my daughters, nieces, and nephews laughing together bring more joy.

The older I get, the more I realize that presence is greater than presents.Emmanuel is “God with us.” Jesus came to earth to be with us and so we could be with God.

People sometimes let you down. That Christmas card scene you imagined in your head may not come to fruition. Instead, you might be fussing and fuming. But stop for a moment to thank God for what you DO have. And when you do, remember that God is with you (long after the holidays are over)  no matter what. That’s the greatest gift of all.

If I were doing a Christmas card collage, here are some photos from 2015 that I might have included (see how I sneaked that in there?).

Posing with Rachel when she was a bridesmaid at Melissa Canter Ha's wedding.

Posing with Rachel when she was a bridesmaid at Melissa Canter Ha’s wedding.

Anna and Shawn at the Northwood Church Car Show with Anna's 1968 Chevy El Camino (nicknamed Buckley).

Anna and Shawn at the Northwood Church Car Show with Anna’s 1968 Chevy El Camino (nicknamed Buckley).

Rebekah and Carlos at Northwood Church's camp for 75 orphans in Atlixco, Mexico.

Rebekah and Carlos at Northwood Church’s camp for 75 orphans in Atlixco, Mexico.

Why I won’t be playing Powerball

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Okay, so I was planning to write a post about Freedom from Unrealistic Expectations (a.k.a. “The Great Christmas Card Fiasco of 2015”) but the craze surrounding the stratospheric payout of the Powerball lottery prompted me to tackle it instead. Look for the scoop on Christmas cards next time.

As of today, the lottery is estimated at a mind-blowing $1.3 Billion (yes, Billion with a capital B), that’s about twice the amount of the next largest amount ever won. An article on cnn.com said that in a one-hour period in Texas yesterday $5.8 million in tickets were sold. When I checked, my odds of winning were 1 in 292 million.Powerball Jackpot

I think most of us can identify with the fun of dreaming what we would do if we suddenly had vast riches dumped in our laps. I could drop $400 on a purse without thinking about it. Going to Hawaii like Shawn and I did last month wouldn’t be a rarity. We could have multiple vacation homes and travel wherever we wanted to go. We could give lots to charity and bless others.

But I worry about what the lottery would do to my motivation. Would work become less important than pleasure seeking? Would I expect money to fix a lot of my problems and be disillusioned when it didn’t? Would all that wealth wreck my family in the long run? What would happen to my attitude and gratitude?

Now that I’ve turned the Big 5-0, I think more about my legacy. Winning the lottery would really screw up my legacy. I’ve been very blessed by those in past generations of my family, not by life-altering inheritances but by their examples of hard work and careful management of their resources. Shawn and I have received inheritances and gifts but not to the extent that we could abandon working for a living. Those blessings have enhanced our family life and allowed us to make investments for the future.

That’s what I want to give my children and hypothetical grand children. Not so much money that it makes them lazy and entitled but careful gifts here and there that remind them of the benefits of hard work, planning and living within one’s means.

Shawn reminded me of his favorite Warren Buffett quote: A very rich person should leave his kids enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing.

I am beyond blessed to not have to fret about finances, and I know I am not exactly normal in that. If I were living paycheck to paycheck, I might be more tempted to spend a few bucks on lottery tickets and dream of not having money troubles. But the thing is, when you have money, you’ve got to spend time managing it. We’ve been learning that as our assets grow, we have to pay more attention to a lot of details. And guess which detail-oriented person at our house gets to do most of that? Not the happy-go-lucky creative one (thanks, honey!).

If we won a billion, our focus would be on managing that money and using it. I don’t think I would be as motivated to write, and I wouldn’t be as inclined to share life lessons with my girls on getting the best deals at Kroger (use the card, look for savings, accumulate those wonderful fuel points). Would giving lose a lot of its meaning if it wasn’t any kind of sacrifice?

Maybe it is God’s plan for you to win a billion and use it to help others, but as for me, it just doesn’t fit. I think it would mess up my motivation and wreck my legacy, so I’ll just be thankful for what I have and keep planning for the future.

What’s Inspiring this Fresh Start

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Aloha and Happy New Year!
For the first Monday in 2016, I’m trying to make good on one of my goals for the year: to blog once a week, or so. I hope that you will find my posts encouraging and entertaining.

My first trip to Hawaii blew my hair and my mind!

My first trip to Hawaii blew my hair and my mind!

A couple of circumstances are inspiring me to make positive changes.

This year, my youngest daughter will graduate from high school. I want to both dance a joyous jig that would totally embarrass her and moan a dramatic dirge to the end of the line for raising school age kids (which she could either find appalling or hilarious).

With this impending milestone of her departure for college, I want to make the most of my time. I’m a mom in transition. I also turned 50 in 2015, a number I have problems associating with myself. No thank you, I don’t want that AARP card!

I used my restlessness over the last few days to try to be more intentional in my approach to 2016. Last week, I did several things:

They all have similar themes of making thoughtful, intentional plans about making the most of life in your current season. My goals are different than my friends Jill and Kala who are moms of young children or my good buddy Anne who is single and teaches at a mission school on a Navajo reservation.

I came up with a short list of goals. One of them is to post regularly on the blog and another is to plan fun times with my family.

For the blog, I’m not going to wait for an inspiring idea. I’m going to make myself post something. I hope I don’t disappoint my seven avid readers… (I love you, Mom!). I’ve decided that if I post five more times by Feb. 15, I will reward myself with something I want but don’t really need.

On the family fun list, we’ve been wanting Anna to decide where we will go for Spring Break (must be in the continental U.S.). I’ll help her get started because planning trips is one of my passions. Shawn and I went on an amazing Hawaii vacation last month, which I planned through VRBO, TripAdvisor and other online resources.

What about you? Do you have any New Year’s resolutions? Do you have any advice for how to stick to your plan?

Yes, it is as lovely as it looks.

Yes, it is as lovely as it looks.

A comic in my own mind: embracing my inner goofball

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Here’s one thing I’ve learned over the years: if you learn to laugh at yourself, you’ll find a lot more humor in life. I like to laugh, and the older I get, the more I’m inclined to laugh at my own mistakes.

The Bible says laughter is good medicine. I think the Proverbs 31 woman was able to laugh at the future because she knew enough to find humor in her own gaffes. People who take themselves too seriously weigh on others. Instead, let your humor be that shot in the arm that lightens their steps, right?

Every once in a while, I’ll do something funny enough to share with others. Go ahead! Laugh at my airheadedness! It’s got healing properties.

Twice in the span of a few weeks, I was a comic in my own mind.

The first one involved my curly often out-of-control hair. The other day, I swear I looked like BTTF’s Doc Brown, only dyed blonde.  Daughter Anna showed me a can of dry shampoo that she’d quit using because it wasn’t dry enough. A few days later, I wanted to try it to see if it would help tame my wild locks in between real shampoos. I went to the girls’ bathroom and grabbed the can of spray, shook it vigorously and spritzed my hair. It wasn’t too wet and toned down the frizz. A pretty good solution, I thought. No wonder people like this stuff. I used it probably half a dozen times.

Several weeks later, Anna asked me to buy her some more dry shampoo, and I told her I’d been using her old stuff and found it still worked okay. She picked up the can on my bathroom counter, looked at it and said, “This is not shampoo, it’s deodorant.”

No wonder I’d had such a hard time washing my hair after using the spray! I bust out with the best deep belly laugh I’d had in ages. Of course, my teenager thought I was crazy–bonus! Moms of teens, embrace that super power.

In my defense, if you look at this picture, the two cans look very similar. Also, if you are

Dry spray could be interpreted a couple of ways!

Dry spray could be interpreted a couple of ways!

late 40s or older, you will understand that I’m really not reading a lot of fine print and directions like I used to. Most of the time, I just wing it. That way, I hardly ever need my reading glasses…

The second instance may also have been attributable to difficulty reading small print, but more likely, I was just in a hurry.

Hubby Shawn was in D.C. to give a presentation on a big project he’s leading at work. That morning, I grabbed my phone and texted “Praying for you. Love you!” and hit send. Seconds later, I heard the buzz for an incoming message.

My boss, Alice, texted me “What’s up?”

Okay, I think you can see where I’m going here. I’d just professed my love to my boss. Fortunately, she has a good sense of humor.

In my ladies’ Bible study last week, Beth Moore talked about not being a poser and not falling for posers in this information age.  During my Tuesday morning run, I happened to listen to Michael Hyatt’s podcast and his co-host, Michele Cushatt was sharing what she learned about the transforming power of suffering while battling cancer. She said, “Perfection never creates connection.”

Who are we trying to impress with our Pinterest perfection? Let’s get real, people, and tell others what’s on our hearts, be it deep pain or just silly embarrassment.

Today, that means to me,

embrace your inner goofball

and the gift of laughter as you share those moments with others.

Now where did I put that deodorant?

What to do when you’ve blown it

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I went to bed last night drowning in disappointment and woke up in the wee hours with the weight of it sitting on my chest. I tried my trick of listening to the melodious voice of Max McLean reading the Psalms on biblegateway.com. He can almost always lull me back to sleep. Not this time.

Almost all of my frustrations were messes of my own doing. I said something to friends that was VERY judgmental instead of reflecting the love of Jesus.

I couldn't resist this impromptu trashcan bouquet

I couldn’t resist this impromptu trashcan bouquet

My house is pretty much a wreck from one end to the other because I’m busy, and when I do have time I get discouraged because my efforts have so little impact.

I worry that my mistakes as a mom have made it harder for my young adult kids to follow God rather than easier.

Around 5 a.m., I gave up and got out of bed. I brewed my coffee and sat down with my computer, Bible and journal looking for solace. I found a Beth Moore video that included a pop quiz. One of her “true-false” questions was, “I know God loves me but I think I often disappoint Him.”

That struck a bruised spot on my heart. I disappoint myself so often that I think God must be disappointed in me, too. Beth said God isn’t disappointed because He isn’t surprised by our struggles. I didn’t catch Him off guard when I messed up.

She quoted Romans 5:5, “And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

As I was looking up that verse, my eyes drifted up to 5:1. “Therefore, since we have been made right in God’s sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.”

My problem is that sometimes my faith is in the wrong place. I try to do big things (or not-so-big things) through my own efforts and I fail. I may be disappointed, but God is not. He’s saying, “Look over here, my daughter. Put your hope in me. Give me your expectations. Let me guide your steps. Don’t sit down and have a pity party or immerse yourself in distractions to avoid the difficult work ahead. Grab my hand and take a step with me. You don’t have to know the whole trip just the next step.”

As for dealing with my shortcomings, I can apologize for thoughtless words. I can wash the dishes and start a load of laundry. I can pray for my girls and look for opportunities to love them in words and actions.

20150920_173605And I can remember that I will never be enough, but God is. There’s a certain freedom in that.

Did you ever think of your failure as an opportunity to grow your faith?